Thursday, July 23, 2009

Dude why are you still single?

It is about that time when I do a post specifically for my male readers. The question I am posing to all readers is: Why is a seemingly eligible bachelor single at age 30 plus when there are double the amount of eligible women single? I am challenging you to please share you opinions on why some of the guys you have dated that seemed great on paper did not peak your interest after the first date. Now as a sartorial blogger, I am forced to focus this post on the dress and behavior, but hey I guess that is the whole problem if the resume is not! Here is my list of why these men (I know some personally) are still single:

1. You text instead of call! You are a grown educated man and you only use texting to get to know a girl that you CLAIM you are interested in. You go as far as asking for a date via text. While the chick may go out of boredom, she has definitely permanently removed you as a viable future candidate. My suggestion is GROW UP and CALL! You are coming across cheap or pusillanimous.

2. If you do call, you have nothing to speak about past a recollection of the day's mood and activities. If you are over 30 and educated you MUST have something substantive to speak about if not, that explains why you are single. I suggest listening to the news every night and making Barnes and Nobles your favorite hotspot to read books that can be the center of interesting conversations.

3. You are showing up to a date dressed like you are in college! If you are showing up to a date with a lady dressed in an oversized t-shirt, jeans and sneakers....that is why are you still single. There are a few messages being sent by your offensive dress, especially if you work in corporate America: (1) You do not care! (2) You are not cultured! and (3) You are clueless! All of which the average girl does not have the patience to deal with at your age. It may sound trivial and superficial, however that is why I do what I do, to emphasize how very important your dress is in predicting your successes. My me :)!

4. You are a pincher! You invite a chick out and you (1) only let her know the date is dutch when you do not pay for her meal, (2) you ask to share a meal, and (3) you accept her offer to foot part of the bill. If you are guilty of any of the mentioned I suggest ONLY going on dates when you could pay for the whole bill! Well that is if you are serious about finding that special girl!
The moral of this story is that first impressions count...even if you believe it or not! Do you go to a job interview in sneakers? Do you use an indirect, passive approach with your dream employer to create a serious interest in you as a candidate?

The truth is if you read this and are guilty of one or more and think I am tripping, I will give you the excuse that maybe you are not serious about being in a long-term committed relationship. If you disagree with this assertion then I say to you: Dude that is why you are still single lol!

Below are looks that you can use for an afternoon to an evening date. Mix and match as you please. But hopefully this gives you an idea of looks that will please most eligible females!


  1. So on point, Rae!

    Then there is the other group of 35+ men who "top-up" with their fashion but too self-absorbed to share their life with someone else. They convince themselves they are being selective but really they're just not courageous enough to step out of single life and step up to married life!

    Guys, you won't lose your freedom, instead you will gain love! You'll still be an individual. But you will learn to give love, be more selfless and become better at handling responsibility.

  2. Wait just a moment...I really need to stop laughing so that I can post what I need to say (this is truly a personal revelation)! For the most part there are men in this world who look good on paper (typical highly educated bachelors) and want the woman they are trying to date to except them just as they are. In my opinion, I don't subscribe to that because I feel that woman are just as visual as men - if not more! Personally, I like men who take a sense of pride in their bodies and dress the part as well. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying you have to dress up in an Armani suit everyday! However, woman want something desireable to look at as well! Yes it is a wonderful thing to know that you are educated but futhermore, I don't want to feel as if I'm holding you up from a track meet on our first date (smile). ~Dwan

  3. Sara,I think you are on to something regarding the 35+ year old man! I guess men come with their on personal hangups and jilted spirits as well. This is the problem I find with 35+ year old men. Most of them are divorced, broken from previously unsuccessful relationships, still somewhat irresponsible when it comes to settling down, cocky, and sooo selfish. As women we have always matured so much faster than our counterparts - this is where the issue rest on the horizon. And the song rings on in my head "where do we go from here?" (symbolicly speaking). ~Dwan

  4. Comment from Facebook male:
    Thank you for enlightening us...

  5. Comment from Facebook male:
    good read but...........i as a man would say this much, i will be 30 nex month and yes i am single but im single by choice, in my case i dont want to get into a relationship just yet, i have certain goals that i have to achieve after which i KNOW i and my significant other will be comfortable sucks to not have enough to eat, study and party/ lime, believe me i know from experience.

  6. Comment from Laika on F/B:
    very good question....

  7. Re: Comment from F/b male about financial limitations:
    Yes....point well taken!! My post was more so for men who "claim" they are ready to be married but they can't seem to find a good woman! These will be the ones who are financially stable! Just a suggestion list :) Thanks for your feedback :)

  8. I'm a female who has been on the dating for the last year or so and have experienced a lot of the "no-nos" listed above. I'm especially tired of men texting. I feel like they use it to string me a long. While it can be quite discouraging out there, the men I encounter and what I'm learning about myself as a result of interacting with them are turning into some great stories for my new blog, lol. Thanks for this post!

  9. I am happy this post was helpful "party of one". I too am sharing some of my experiences coupled with stories I have heard. The dating scene is getting ridiculous b/c females are lowering their standards, ultimately in attempt to beat single life!!